31.7.09

Because it's Friday and we're all a little whack-a-doodle

This post is pretty much pointless, except for the shear freaking awesomeness of it. If you don't understand this picture, please, have life imitate art. Make the face, make the sound.... get it? I know, I know...

29.7.09

FML

Where's Anna???
FYI: This is why I ran over my own foot with my chair this morning. Barefoot.
Shit.

28.7.09

Words out, we kind of rock

My stupid internet is actually working right now, so I'm attempting to upload some of the craptacular quality videos I took during the concert on Saturday (for you Katie! and for me because lets face it, I'm pretty much a selfish bastard).

The rein of most uncoordinated is still mine. I managed to:
1.) run into my aunts office door
2.) trip over the box that's been next to my desk for a week
3.) hit my head on the car window at lunch
4.) splice my thumb open with my own fingernail.. from the index finger of the same freaking hand and managed to break that nail while doing it.

And this my friends, was all during an 8 hour work day.

It's come to light that I pretty much have the most kick ass, loyal friends ever. Ya'll pretty much rock my face off. I don't usually get super sentimental, and when I do it's usually tainted by some snarky remark, so don't blink cause you'll miss this.... are you ready... "I love you man!" Annnnd the moment is gone.

It's taking a damn millenia to upload these suckers, and I need to pass out soon b/c I'm surly enough with sleep, so without it, lets just say, woooah. What this boils down to is tonight, you get Paramore vids, and tomorrow, if you're lucky, No Doubt vids. 

Enjoy the show kids, I sure as hell did.

video

video

video

27.7.09

Pirate booty galore

You're in luck, b/c I remembered another rant I wanedt to post the other day (and this one makes me sound like even more of an asshole, squee!)

3. People who get stomach stapling, shrinking, rubber banding surgeries piss me off. PISS me off. Especially when they lose 65 lbs in a couple months or less doing ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING, when I busted my ass at the gym and ate right for almost 3 years to lose 75 lbs. You all, can suck it. Yeah, yeah, they have a "medical" reason... it's called being fat and not wanting to put forth the effort. I was fat too people, but I sweated, and I grunted my way to losing those pounds. Freaking cheaters.

Now, on less ranty/happier notes, my sis and I went to the Bay area this weekend to see No Doubt and Paramore in concert and needless to say we had our faces. rocked. I'll post photos as soon as my internet at home is working... again (ATT you're no longer on notice, you're in deep shit. someone will be getting an earful shortly!) The weather was beeeautiful and we contemplated straping the bed from our hotel room to the roof of her car b/c it was so fucking comfortable. I'd like to share some primo sister-talk gems with you. She sometimes likes to create her own words. Today's are "Knucklebutt" and "Faginator". I know, I know, she's kind of a genius.

Um, I'm still pretty much addicted to farmtown. It has kind of taken over my life. Seriously. I think I have a problem. But I'm almost to level 17 bitches! HA! Oh, speaking of bitches, if you're not an Always Sunny in Philedelphia fan then get the fuck out of here because we can no longer be friends..... still here? Then good, we're cool. The promos for the new season look AMAZING. Hello, Kitten Mittens? Glorious. I'd post a link to a youtube of it, but the internet I'm currently using doesn't allow me access (read: I'm at work).

I found this gem at work today:



Amazing, I know. I ALWAYS send boring overboard. It's a gift, you can be jealous, it's ok.

Now, if only I had some kitten mittens to go with my hat, I'd be golden.

24.7.09

Basically it's like doing a community service to the world ok

I need to rant for a few minutes. If you could give a shit less, skip down, or go away, because why would you read this is you didn't A.) give a shit or B.) want to laugh at/with/whatever me or C.) are NOT a douchebag (sorry, no douchies aloud).

1. Why do people back into parking spots?? This drives me BERSERK!! I want to stab them all in the face and and scream at them that whether they back into the spot or back out, they have to back up EITHER WAY! And it causes more traffic jams when they back in because they have to try harder not to hit the other cars next to them. Fucking park like a normal person so we can all get on with our lives.

2. Shufflers. Note to you shufflers: pick. up. your. feet. There are several shufflers in my department and the sound of their scuff-scuffing around is enough to drive a deaf man to cut off his ears. I want to put sticky tape on the toes of their shoes so when they try to shuffle their feet stick and they have to pick them up to move, kind of like when you put tape on a cats paw and they freak out.

Ok, so only 2 rants, but hey, this is serious stuff people.

I went to Starbucks on my way to work this morning and there was this old person in the car in front of me in the drive thru that presented this problem that I feel compelled to share with the world because I'm nice like that. Um, I couldn't tell if it was a man or woman, basically. So I figured, HEY look for facial hair cause it kind of looked like "they" had a mustache, but then I realized that there are lots of old ladies that have mustaches too, so how in the fuck are you supposed to be able to tell them apart if the old ladies refuse to maintainence that shit?? What I'm saying is don't be a mustachioed woman, clean it up ladies, so I can tell whether you're an old man or lady, mmmk?

Sara and I are heading to San Francisco this weekend to check out the No Doubt/Paramore concert and I'm pretty much so excited I might have wee'd myself a little. Not only do I get to see 2 kick ass bands, but I get to hang with my sis, so that'll be all good (so long as I don't get irritated and want to shank her or she doesn't get mad and punch me... it really hurts... she underestimates her buffedness. bitch.)

Just in case you're curious my obsessions for this week are:
1. Tudors - um, kind of basically awesome and the more shirtless Jonathan Rhys Meyers the better I say!

2. Farm Town on Facebook - curses to whomever told me to sign up for that application because it's so god damn addicting. I have to harvest and plow and grow more crops than anyone else because I'm totally fucking competitive I care about helping to provide food for the virtual world. Anyone feel like plowing? (and I die with second grade giggles everytime someone types in the chat "I'm an excellent plower!" "Will plow!" "I'll plow!" hehehe)

3. Taylor Swift's 'Fearless' cd - I'm not a huge country fan, but this CD is kind of great, very sing-a-long-able.

4. My sister's salsa - it's the shit, nothing else need be said.

Off to harvest some grapes, if they go to waste like they did a couple days ago, I just might lose my shit.

23.7.09

AT&T: you're on notice

Just registered my internet for the SECOND time. If I have to do it a third, heads will roll into scarab infested dirt.

Kind of like robocop on crack

Wow. Thursday? Really? Not Friday, but thursday? Sucktastic.

It's been a busy busy day, and honestly, pretty soon you're not going to be able to find me at my desk, because as you can see, it's um, not looking so hot.


Freaking August... oh wait, it's till July, then I want to know why everyone is on crack b/c this is just WRONG. And yes, my mess extends alll the way to the box lid in the left corner full of handbooks. Hmm... shit.

So I had another peanut go missing today, I know right? You're thinking "Jesus can't you keep track of those things woman?" and the answer is "No, so shut yo' face." I couldn't find it, and I made a thorough pat down check this time. A little while later I slid my shoes on to go out front (because yes they are rarely on my feet when I'm at my desk, I'm an oakie child at heart, so sue me, on second thought don't, because I don't have any money already and I have enough student loan debt to finance a small country so I don't need to make it any worse) and when I jammed my left foot into my shoe I had a princess and the pea experience, only it was more like the secretary and the peanut experience. The slippery sucker dropped into my shoe, weird (and no I did not eat it after that, that's gross, how could you even think that.)


Megan and I had lunch today and we've decided that um, we're pretty awesome and should do it more often.


Yeah that's it, I'm out of here, off to call ATT and chew some ass for my internet service STILL NOT WORKING at home, which is totally bollocks.

22.7.09

All I need is a bottle of vodka and some Celine Dion

Bridget Jones had it right when she asked what's worse than a smug married couple and answered herself with "Lots of smug married couples!" Because I totally felt like her last night. Except there was no Mark Darcy there to tell me he liked me just as I am. Ok, so it wasn't a horrible evening, but it was a tad on the awkward side, especially when the server came by to wrap things up.

Server: Ok everyone, now do we want these on separate checks or one check?
All: Separate.
Server: Sure thing, lets just see how we're going to split this up.
My sister: Well, we'll be on one together (indicating her and my brother-in-law)
Server: Oh, ok! Just split it up by couples then?
Me: Yeah, just split it up by couples!
My sister: You can just put his meal on her tab (points to the empty chair next to me)
Server: Um... ok...
My sister: He's a cheap date at least!

All of them can suck it. I like being single except in moments like that. One of the gal's husbands is an agriculture man and so as we're leaving my brother-in-law mentions how people in farming talk funny. My sister replies with "Yeah, it's like they speak vegetable ebonics!" and then we laughed ourselves into several asthma attacks.

I had some trail mix earlier today (yummy yummy roasted peanuts, raisins, almonds and walnuts!) and I thought I dropped a peanut but couldn't find it. So I go about my business and about an hour or so later I go to the restroom and when I look in the mirror I about have a heart attack because it looks like a third nipple sprouted up near the top of my boob! I poke at it and realize it's the mystery peanut caught between my shirt and tank top. Which is kind of awesome because that means that every person I walked by in the previous hour or so either though I had some weird lumpy mutation or that I was really cold and something wasn't right with that boob. Nice.

In other news, I may have clotheslined myself on my purse strap again only it was the strap of a different purse. Traitorous bastard.

21.7.09

Revenge of the Mondays or why having a weekend sucks because there is an end to it: part duex

As promised, horror filled stories full of humor and bodily functions from my family camping trip.

Except now that I'm sitting here trying to remember them.... I freaking can't, of course. I can tell you that my mom's boyfriend got super drunk and fell over their ice chest in front of their tent, which was kind of awesome. We got yelled at by the rangers because they have a 10pm "quiet time" rule, which apparently is like when you're at summer camp and they call lights out because they actually don't want you to be quiet, they want you to be silent and go to bed (not that I would ever know because I never went to summer camp because apparently my parents are assholes. Actually, no, I'm not really sad I missed out on the bug biting, canoe tipping, girl back stabbing action, so thanks mom!) ANYWAYS, so we thought we were being quiet, and by we I mean me and my sis and brother-in-law and cousins around my age who were sitting around playing drinking games, but the ranger thought otherwise (wanker). So Sara and I run to the bano after a game and realize the entire fucking campground is asleep, except for us. It was kind of creepy. And since we had consumed many alcohol units in a short amount of time we found this funny, as we skipped to the bathroom (I wonder if the song skip-to-my-lou stems from skipping to the bathroom, aka the loo.. hmmm?) and then we tried to giggle quietly, but that never happens.

Oh, also, earlier in the day Sara and I made a trip to the bano (hmm.. I sense a theme here) and when we get there, there are a bunch of teenage girls in the place because there is a bunch of YMCA groups there, and then all of a sudden it goes silent, and Sara sings "I think we're alone now.." and I chorus "There doesn't seem to be anyone around.." (yeah, we're kind of awesome, deal.) which of course made us laugh the rest of the day. And, earlier in the day she and I were playing Phase 10 and in this dumb game you have to make runs of cards, as it's kind of like rummy, and I blurted out "The runs are hard!!" which if you have a dirty gutter mind like me, instantly made me laugh because that's kind of a paradox. If it's the runs, it can't be hard. HA! :D

Sadly that's all the funnies I can remember. Work has been hell these past two days, but I'm officially the job description QUEEN as I've printed, organized, collated, etc. 326 job descriptions for our meetings at the beginning of August in 1.5 days, which is a new record ladies and gents (feel free to applaud, it's ok, you know you want to).

Also, I just found out that my "girls night out" dinner with my ladies from the gym has turned into a fucking couples dinner with me as the 9th-mother-fucking-wheel. Someone. shoot.me.please.

Maybe I can get the runs in the next couple hours...

20.7.09

Revenge of the Mondays or why having a weekend sucks because there is an end to it: part one

Oi, fucking Monday.

I've been trying to sit and write a quick post all day, but that has not happened. Tis the season to be crazy busy and inundated with crap to do. Joy! Joy!

This past week the fam went to Morro Bay for the annual camping trip, but as I was just on "vacation" (load of bollocks, I was in school people!!) for four months and I have a shit-ton-o-weddings to go to out of state coming up, I need to save my vacay time and decided I would just go for the weekend.
Before heading out of town I was gassing up my girl and as I'm doing so I notice I'm the young lady in the middle of an old-man-staring potluck. Seriously, every dude there was over 55 and apparently has never seen a 20 something girl pumping gas at 8:15 in the morning on a Saturday. I totally got the creepies and pulled out of there as quick as I could.
Sooo, I get to the camp and we went out on the beach to play in the sand with the little tyke. How many adults does it take to entertain a 2 y/old? 3. :) And this little guy was covered head to toe in sand, possibly b/c we found it hilarious to bury him in the sand... as did he.

Sara and I occupied ourselves by playing some Phase 10 (of which I will demand a rematch as she unfairly kicked. my. ass.) and by perhaps being bigger kids than the actual kids there.


Can you see the family resemblence?

Here are some shots of the area around the camp, we were basically right on the water in Morro Bay.


We took Holly the hound dog for a walk, and the sunset was beeeeuuutiful!

All in all, good times. I've got some funny stories, but they'll have to be part deux of this post, as I'm yet again, out of time.

17.7.09

#7

7. Clotheslined myself on my own purse strap and nearly face planted (even though the purse is where it sits every day).

Addendum to previous post

6. Running into the empty Staples box that has been next to my desk for a day at full force and severing my leg off mid calf.

I think Staples is trying to kill me.

Is it pathetic when monkeys more dexterous than you?

It's done, over, finite! My asskicking class at the gym that is, which is kind of sad (and yet all of my muscles are doing the happy dance, which kind of means I look like an epileptic on crack, but whatever). Our last torture was to run 3 miles with stadiums... but we had to do so at 5:30 in the morning because A.) it's fucking hot by 7 am and B.) it's kind of my fault because I had to be to work by 7 but also another lady who has kids (ew) had to be home by 6:30 so bascially I'm going to blame it on her because I can be late to work but it's not like her kids can watch themselves, or could they? Hell so long as you lock up the draino and the sharp objects, they should be ok. Anyways, because it was so damn early the sun was still coming up it was actually really pretty, but still tainted because of the ungodly hour.

Last night I went to Lush with Denise (which is a wine bar, that also serves beer, but they have a shit ton-o-wine) and we ended up seeing some people she knew there, which was cool, but probaby one of the most hilarious things that has ever happened occurred when we're talking to 2 dudes and we're discussing tattoo's and she says no one really sees any but 1 of hers and I said that wasn't true because I see her peace sign all the time (it's on her hip, pervs...) and he asks at me and sort of gestures like this, "Are you guys...." and you can see his wheels churning on how to ask an awkward question without looking like a total douche, so I go "Are we what?" And he's all "Um, are you guys.................................... like sisters or roommates or something?" And so then I go, "No, why would you think that?" (or something like that, I'm trying to recall a conversation here folks, accuracy is not guaranteed) and he's all "Because you said you see her tattoo all the time.." and by this point you can tell he kind of might want the floor to swallow him because I've officially forced him to expose this awkward line of questioning and finally I just say "We're not gay." and he's all "Oh, ok" and nods and Denise just says "We're friends!" (Because she's super cute like that, in a non-gay way of course) and frankly I just found the situation so freaking hilarious because WHAT THE HELL?

In other news, my lovely little four-legged furry son decided to shank the shit out of my ankle the other night/morning. I think he was a little peeved that I left him at home all night while I went to see HP at midnight and decided at 3 am when I'm stumbling around my apartment trying to find my bed to pass out on that he would show my bare ankle just how irritated he was. Asshole.

There must be an international "most ungraceful and uncoordinated person" award out there and if so, I'm the champ. Need proof? Here is a slight list of how I've tried to maim myself in the past week or so.

1. Hit myself in the face with the handles on one of those hand baskets like at the grocery store, only this was at Staples and thank god I still had my sunglasses on because that would have been unpleasant.

2. Smashed my own leg in my OWN car door trying to close it.

3. Shortly after the smashing incident I tripped on the tiny stair up to Megan and Denise's front door.

4. I got shanked by a cat (ok technically that's not my own doing, but it warrant's a bit of talent).

5. On one of the machines at the gym I pulled the metal handle down and managed to punch myself in the eye with it (but sadly no black eye, so I didn't even get a war wound from that one)

Now if that doesn't make you feel good about yourself, I don't know what will.

13.7.09

If your morning smells like feces, that can't be a good sign.

When you have to start Monday morning off with a coffee just to wake-up when you're not normally a morning coffee person... that is a bad sign. It could also be that I knew this is what was waiting for me when I got to work.

*someday I'll see my desk again... someday*

I'm telling you I either need another vacation or a body double because for some reason my social calendar is too busy and since when did that happen? Friday night was my first official night "entertaining" in my new place! Dinner was cooked and consumed and the Wii party commenced (and so did learning that I really suck at Wii Mariokart, which was quite a blow to the ego). Then began Saturday, which was the longest fucking day on the planet. Up at 6:30, at the high school bowl at 7 to run with my class. 2 miles, 4 sets of stadium stairs, 6 sprints and 1oo lunges later I made my way to Sara's to organize picking up my washer and dryer that I scored for $100 (*fist pump!*). First stop - grandparents to pick up handtruck, Second stop - friend's house to pick up W/D and visit, Third stop - my place to unload (thank you to the best sister and brother-in-law around). Fourth stop - my couch for a much needed nap. Mom and company then came over to help hook up said W/D and bolt my head board. Fifth stop - back to grandparents to return hand truck, Sixth stop - the bank. Seventh stop - Megan and Denise's and Eigth stop - the fair where oh-so-much excitment was found. I don't know what the hell was up with me, but seriously, I was one sweaty beast when we got to the fair and was not wearing a sweat friendly shirt if you catch my drift. Let's just say lifting my arms up was NOT an option that evening. We wandered to fair, saw the bunnies (and one tried to commit suicide out of Denise's arms), and then meandered into the concert for the evening curtesy of Josh Gracin. Not a bad show really, and his guitarist/fiddlist/harmonica-ist was pretty dang hot, which helped.

Also, I may have met the love of my life there. Isn't he lovely?

*Ah, it's good to be back in h-town... HAHAHAHAH*

Josh Gracin also made an appearance in the crowd for his encore, and then walked through us to get to the stage. He kind of ran into me, but I'll let it slide, you know, since he's a celeb and all. After the show we went to find the house of mirrors so I could witness Denise in all her mirror-running-into glory and you know what, THAT THING FUCKING BLEW! I spent $4 bones to go in and it sucked, suckity-suck-sucked! But, on the bright side, we did get to see this lovely gem on the way to the beer garden afterwards. I had to resist stealing it from the young girl.

(click to enlarge...)

After passing out Saturday, I woke up bright and early Sunday to go to church w/ the grandparents and then head to a baseball game with my Papa. The game was great, a little long as it went 12 innings and despite the shade we were in I got a massive farmer's tan sunburn on my arms, but by the time we got home I was so freaking tired I went home plopped on my couch and only moved to eat dinner and go to bed.

But exhaustion is not an option! This week is full-o-fun including the MIDNIGHT RELEASE OF HARRY POTTER! which I'm totally going to, and having dinner with Aubs! who I haven't seen since we got back from London, so that'll be awesome.

Here's a few tips/thoughts/words of advice to leave you with:

1. I'm still going to stab this safety plan in the face.
2. Flipcharts suck ass to make.
3. Men - if you blow up the bathroom at work, USE THE CURTESY SPRAY! so that when I walk in the hallway I don't gag at the smell wafting out.
4. Don't make me repeat myself over and over again (fyi intern: you're on notice.)
5. Always wear good underwear, you never know what could happen.

Shalom.

7.7.09

It might sound like the beginning of a bad porno, but this is actually my life

Ok, so here’s one thing I’m thankful for today: Hot. Ass. Dish Network. Installers.

Seriously? Wow. Usually I just get the old men who are on the far side of the “too hairy” scale, sweat a bit too much and show me more butt crack than I care to ever see. But today, damn, damn, DAMN. And I’d like to thank him for taking off his Dish shirt and walking around in his tank-top, because that made my morning that much better.

And now I’m up and running with some boob tube, DVR’ing action.

One thing I’m not so thankful for is getting up at 5:40 this morning to go running. It’s not that I got up that much earlier than I would have had to if I was going to work, but still, it’s different when you’re going to work, than when you’re going to go and get hella sweaty and breathe so hard your lungs feel like the balloons inside a whoopee cushion because you’re breathing that hard. But, alas, I did it and feel all the more better for it. But really, I only did it because I can’t go to the gym tonight because I’m going to dinner and a movie with Shannon and Crystal. Ah, the rationalization I do is what gets me through the day. I also feel a little bit like I'm on crack because of the energy/endorphins from working out in the morning and then taking my CLA pills. Wowza!

Coming up soon, HP 6 ladies and gents! Am I going to the midnight showing with a group of awesome ladies (and a few gents)? Yes! Am I excited? Yes! Are we getting tickets today the day they go on sale? You bet your ass we are! In fact HERE they are!



Don't be jealous! :)

I’m surprised I can even type today after last night’s PT class at the gym. Because we worked our arms so dang much, in fact that’s all we worked, and I think my arms are now full of lead. I can’t really extend my right arm totally straight, because it hurts. Yes, I might be a slight wussy, but seriously, I have such a love/hate feeling for my trainer.

Other sweet news? I GOT MY Wii! That's right beeotches, it's Wii time (uh.. I do need to get 1 more remote though, so I have 2).


It's party time!


P.S. This day needs to be over, like now, b/c it's only getting worse, I'm only getting more and more fucking frustrated at work and I need a cocktail like A-freaking-SAP!


P.P.S. The need for an adult beverage is being made worse by the screaming child out front.

6.7.09

I cannot and will not be held accountable for the things that come out of my mouth, I blame it on the heat.

I may or may not have just dropped the f-bomb whilst talking to my boss.

Fuck.

Also, I've solidified my position as the world's most awesome collator. The pile from a week or so ago is finally complete, and ready to have another batch mixed up into this beeotch.


And after about an hour or so, thhhaaarrrr she blows.

But seriously, if a large gust of wind or an earthquake knocks this bad boy over, I'm going to be pissed. And possibly cry a little bit... or aLOTTA bit.

In other news (because, lets be honest, dropping the f-bomb in the context of "I fucking hate that thing" in reference to the project your boss is assigning you that you've done before and now have to update, trumps pretty much any other tid-bit of news), I'm getting my dish set up tomorrow, YAY! So excited. And, Target is trying to kill me by sending me one of my new Wii games, before my console has arrived. That's just MEAN.

Perhaps he was hungover from the holiday as well

Happy belated America's birthday day to everyone! Did you eat a lot? Good. Drink a bit? Good. Watch some shit blow up? Good.

Not much to share right now, but here is an awesome example of classic H-town brilliance. Look very closely at the numbers on the sign.

Yup. Awesome right? :)

2.7.09

What not to wear needs to be up in this mo' fo' directing the reprimanding

Here's the thing I don't get: why me?

"Why you what?" you may be asking yourself.

Well, let me tell you. I want to know why I am the subject of such scrutiny at work when it comes to my wardrobe. Seriously? Not. Cool. I dress very well compared to many others at my place of employment. When we are on professional dress, I always dress like I'm supposed to and when we're casual I never wear shorts (like I would anyways, ha.) or flip-flops (to much sadness). And yes, ok, I was unfortunately over blessed up stairs but I try my hardest not to be all clevagey because um, no, it's not ok, but sometimes despite my efforts it can be unavoidable. I don't wear super tight clothes and try to make sure my pants don't have frayage at the bottom because it's not allowed (seriously, I trim it up which let me tell you is basically a loosing battle because I'm kind of vertically challenged and walk on my pants all the time).

SO, my question dear friends, is what the hell? There are people in other departments that wear inappropriate things all the time. Either they are more tank-topish than we allow, their jeans are frayed, their shoes are SO freaking flip-flop (I don't care if they're leather folks) that it's ridiculous, or they wear bermuda shorts... even during professional dress. For reals, what. the. fuck. Do they get in trouble? No. Do they ever get sent home? No. Do I? Yes.

Ok, so today I'm not in trouble, but a manager did look at my shirt with a bit of disdain so I'm basically just waiting to be told that I can't wear it again. Which is gay, because look at this sucker, it's freaking c-u-t-e.

Seeeeeeeeeeee! Cute. (And yes I'm well aware this photo makes my upstairs looke GINORMOUS, but whatev, it was not an easy shot to get). I love boys that recycle, I mean come on, how can you hate on someone going green? :)

SO, my next move, should I be reprimanded for wearing a totally cute and normal t-shirt, shall be to dress like this...

Nuff said.

Oh, and p.s., we totally get 2 hours of paid leave today, squeeeeeeeee!, so I'm off at 2 pm bitches, hell. freaking. YES!

1.7.09

Who says government jobs are boring

Scene 1: Reception Desk
Customer: My name is blankity blank, and I need to pick up a certificated substitute application.
Me: Sure thing! Do you currently have a teaching credential or are you working towards one?
**side: there are 2 diff apps, this question is totally legit
Customer: NO! I'm retired.
Me: Um, ok. So, you're a retired... teacher?
Customer: Yes.
Me: So then you would have a teaching credential.
Customer: YES!

Fuck me dude, seriously.

Scene 2: Walking from bathroom to the front office
Me: OH MY GOD!
Co-worker: What?!?
Me: MY SKIRT WAS TOTALLY TUCKED UP IN THE BACK!

cough note to self: smooth down back of skirt before exiting restroom. (Thank god I felt my skirt was funny before walking out front. Awesome.)

I'm not implying the race is androgynous because you simply can't trust a meth-head's judgment*

Tuesday officially became a randomly awesome day.

Firstly, I need to say a huge CONGRATU-FREAKIN-LATIONS to my friend Katie for not only having an interview yesterday with an awesome firm that she wanted to work for but also for getting the job! You rock lady! :D And now I can come visit you, possibly on our intended 6 month interval! I owe you one rum and coke to celebrate.

For lunch I went to Boston with "the crew" and as we're walking up someone calls out to me and what do you know, but trouble times two is heading towards Boston as well in the form of Megan and Denise (who apparently tried to call and text me but I'm totally lame, I mean, cough completely popular like that and just can't get to my phone all the time, jeez...), but they wanted me to meet them there, so it was like fate.

Then, Lindsey is in town from Arizona and we got together after work to have dinner and a coffee date (and she looks totally cute with her baby bump, by the way, though it still freaks me out that my friends are all getting married and now starting to have kids because I am in no, way, shape or form ready to do either of those things as I'm still a huge kid myself half the time, selfish? me? hell yes!). We went to Chinese food and my lord, most amazing experience ever. This group of ladies came into the restaurant and sat in this secluded boothy area for large parties. But then this lady, completely h-town style with 14 layers of eyeshadow, looked mildly like a meth-head, and was ghetto beyond all belief, stands up and starts staring out over the little partition wall at all the other patrons with her crazy eyes, and then she sits down. Then one of her gang friends - I mean companions does the same thing. THEN a little while later, ol' googly eye half-way stands up and starts going:

"Excuse me? Sir? Young sir come here. Excuse me! Sir! Can you come here please?"

Totally, thoroughly confused as to what in the hell this bat shit crazy lady is doing, Lindsey and I are kind of gawking with our mouths hanging open and then when I realize she's bellowing at the poor female waitress, I about pissed myself laughing. Lindsey was like "Is she talking about the waitress?" Um, yeah. Told you. Meth-head. Gotta love this town.

After dinner we head to Starbucks and who do we run into, but our ol' buddy CJ. We chat for a bit to catch up and then order our drinks (I am so in luuurve w/ Caramel Fraps it's fucking ridiculous) and the barristas working were just awesome. So nice and friendly and chatty, which normally pisses me the hell off because all I keep thinking is "I'm not here to be your damn friend so make my drink so I can get the hell out of here and enjoy it in silence" (so I'm a tad anti-social. shut. up.) but it wasn't annoying. We sat outside while the sun set and enjoyed our drinks and finished catching up on each other's lives. So great.

Once I got home, the cat-bad-mom-for-being-gone-ALL-day guilt kicked in, so I stayed up later than usual to make sure my old man was happy. Being that he's stuck inside all day until he gets used to the place and I can let him out, I feel ridiculously bad when he doesn't have any company all day. So we hung out on the couch while I watched some VMars, and based on his state here,


I think he likes the new place just fine. :)

Also, I think I know what the hell was wrong w/ my jank pinky on Monday. I think I may have burned it closing my car door and not realized it, which is really freaking ridiculous that it is hot enough for that to happen.


*If you don't know what androgynous means, check it out here. (I do what I can to help the vocabulary of America, now go use it in sentence, get creative, but don't get fired.)