I'm not a raving lunatic who walks around in dirty torn clothes and house shoes, but that doesn't make me any less rave-y

Here's the thing. You know those stupid little carts at grocery stores and Target and such, the ones that look like cars with the carts on the back so people's annoying, screaming and unsupervised children can scramble about inside the interior? I. HATE. THOSE. THINGS. They need to all be melted down and made into trash cans or something. Perfect of example of why they are impractical in any shopping situation was my trip to the grocery store on Sunday. The place was packed, because it was Sunday afternoon and apparently everyone and their damn mom goes to the grocery store on Sunday afternoon, a little fact that I didn't know until I dove head first into the shark pond. Ahem, anyways, so this place is bloody packed, everyone is standing in line at once to check out and WHAM, here comes a lady with the huge ass stupid shopping cart. She can't go around the back of the line, no. She has to maneuver that beast around a display and cut through a line of people nailing a teenage girl in the leg. Then she parks the beast where? Behind. Me. (Why world, WHY do you hate me so....) She's all up in my business, showing her kid candy he doesn't need because he's already running around acting like a huge jackass. Then they disappear and I say a little thanks to the heavens that I have a moment of silence and there is no longer a giant red car staring up my backside. Until I start getting rung up and just like a bad case of herpes... she's back again. I ignore her and her poor parenting skills, her screaming children that are already EATING the candy she hasn't paid for yet... just waiting until I can be free. And then... she rams her fucking car cart into my leg. Really? REALLY?! That really just happened. Yes. So I turn and look at her expecting some sort of apology and she just stares at me like I got in her way. O. M. G. If the teller hadn't told me to press the green button I might have jammed my fist into her neck. Hate those bastard carts and the bastard people who use them.

Since I'm talking about things that bug me, I really hate when people have my exact same car, to the color, and theirs is cleaner than mine and I pull up next to them or park near them. I just want to make their car dirty for showing mine up because I don't have time to keep it sparkly and clean all the time (like it totally deserves because my car is awesome and incredibly reliable and good to me, but alas, she deals with being dirty because I don't. have. time.) I don't know why this bothers me, I just feel like their showing me up or something and they too, need to be throat jabbed periodically.

With all the rain we got last night, my cat was pretty irritated that he couldn't go outside but not as irritated as his owner. Yes me. The dumb dumb kept going to the sliding glass door and making such a ruckus to go outside, so I would finally give in and open the door. He'd run out and then turn around and run right back in and look at me like, duuuude WTF?, and I'd say "it's raining fucker, you KNOW that." and return to what I was doing. Not two minutes later, he's back at the door, starting the process all over again. I wanted to drop kick him so bad. Luckily, I think he got the hint (or I slept through all his attempts to wake me up and let him out) because he didn't wake me up until it was right around time for me to get up anyways, but then he wasn't going out because I'd have to lure him inside again before I left and I was SO not going through that this morning.

This is a freaking long post about nothing but some ranting. Wow. Um, more rants then? I HATE CSUF because I only need about 9 classes before I can graduate and fulfill all my Vet school requirements, but of course next semester about 5 of those classes are offered at the same time. The same EXACT fucking time. What the deuce! And one of them isn't even being offered, and it wasn't offered this semester, so I don't know what the hell they expect me to do. I'm supposed to take it before another one, yeah, that's not happening. I'm taking the upper division one first so take that CSUF. Bollocks.

On a happy note, I'm off to Tucson in just about a week! for Cassie's wedding. But this also means I get to see Baby Julia! and Lindsey and Brian and the whole Grant clan and it's going to be amazing. And it's a road trip, which is always good times.

Final image to leave you with: Yesterday in my swine lab we were shifting hogs and a small group of us loaded some up onto the hydraulic trailer pulled by a tractor and instead of walking to the next barn, we just road in the back with the hogs. So I looked at my partner Claire and said "I hope they don't take me to market too, I'd get rejected for sure, too much gristle." Not funny? Maybe you had to be on the trailer....


Being able to make money being an asshole would kind of rule

So today was kind of going down the crapper, like a lot, until about 10 minutes ago when I checked my email and found this:

Hey Blogger - My name is David, I have been searching the Internet for blogs that fit our criteria. Yours does. I wanted to invite you to become a paid blogger at Blog Distributor. (Please understand that I do not send this invitation to every blogger I come across.)

Roughly 25% of bloggers are now being paid to write postings on their blogs, that are linked to websites. The value here is that, when a blog posting is linked to a website, that website will get higher rankings in the search engines, such as Google and Yahoo. You can write anything you think about the website, positive or negative.

The email continues, but you get the gist. And despite the ridiculousness of this email I had to follow the link to their website and "check it out", and I read the FAQ's and found this:

7. Can I write what I want in the blog posting? We want you to feel free to express your opinion. However, you cannot use problem language such as: adult content, profanity, hate or violent language, and your posting must be correctly spelled.

Um... yeah, this dude SO has not "checked out" my blog to
fit his criteria. And because of this I then had to respond the email to tell
him how jazzed I was because frankly, I couldn't resisit.

Hey David,

Thanks for your offer, it's very inticing. Does this mean you'll let me review any kind of website? Including really off the wall, bat shit crazy kind of stuff? Cause that would rule. Oh, and can I say bat shit crazy? Sorry, I know this should be a professional email but sometimes these things just slip right on through without me noticing it. I'm asking because on your website under the FAQ's it mentions no profanity or violent language can be used. And lets just be honest here David, who doesn't fantasize about fucking throat jabbing some people? I'm so glad my blog fits the criteria though, because I would have thought all those f-bombs I drop would have been giant red flags. So thanks for the opportunity!

Do you think you could email me some more detailed information on exactly what kind of reviews for products you're expecting? Do I need to try this shit out, on, or just pretend? I'm really good at pretending. And if I can get paid to do it? Even better. Thanks so much!


So we'll see if I get a response. My guess? No. BWHAHAHAHA. Yes, this just cheered me up. Now I'm off to Smart N Final to buy 5 gallons of bleach, 12 gallons of water, 10 bottles of hand sanitizer and some soap. Awesome.