Being able to make money being an asshole would kind of rule

So today was kind of going down the crapper, like a lot, until about 10 minutes ago when I checked my email and found this:

Hey Blogger - My name is David, I have been searching the Internet for blogs that fit our criteria. Yours does. I wanted to invite you to become a paid blogger at Blog Distributor. (Please understand that I do not send this invitation to every blogger I come across.)

Roughly 25% of bloggers are now being paid to write postings on their blogs, that are linked to websites. The value here is that, when a blog posting is linked to a website, that website will get higher rankings in the search engines, such as Google and Yahoo. You can write anything you think about the website, positive or negative.

The email continues, but you get the gist. And despite the ridiculousness of this email I had to follow the link to their website and "check it out", and I read the FAQ's and found this:

7. Can I write what I want in the blog posting? We want you to feel free to express your opinion. However, you cannot use problem language such as: adult content, profanity, hate or violent language, and your posting must be correctly spelled.

Um... yeah, this dude SO has not "checked out" my blog to
fit his criteria. And because of this I then had to respond the email to tell
him how jazzed I was because frankly, I couldn't resisit.

Hey David,

Thanks for your offer, it's very inticing. Does this mean you'll let me review any kind of website? Including really off the wall, bat shit crazy kind of stuff? Cause that would rule. Oh, and can I say bat shit crazy? Sorry, I know this should be a professional email but sometimes these things just slip right on through without me noticing it. I'm asking because on your website under the FAQ's it mentions no profanity or violent language can be used. And lets just be honest here David, who doesn't fantasize about fucking throat jabbing some people? I'm so glad my blog fits the criteria though, because I would have thought all those f-bombs I drop would have been giant red flags. So thanks for the opportunity!

Do you think you could email me some more detailed information on exactly what kind of reviews for products you're expecting? Do I need to try this shit out, on, or just pretend? I'm really good at pretending. And if I can get paid to do it? Even better. Thanks so much!


So we'll see if I get a response. My guess? No. BWHAHAHAHA. Yes, this just cheered me up. Now I'm off to Smart N Final to buy 5 gallons of bleach, 12 gallons of water, 10 bottles of hand sanitizer and some soap. Awesome.


Denise said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA this is hilarious. Yea, he OBVIOUSLY hasn't read your blog. Because my dad doesn't read your blog and even HE knows you cuss. Hahahahhaha!!! I love your reply to his email..."And can I say bat shit crazy??" LOL!!!! LOVE IT

Megan Lauriana said...

LOL... Oh my word. If he replies you must do an update! I gotta know what he says!

Anonymous said...

I laughed so hard I almost pee-peed me panties!

Your sis

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