An interruption to our regularly scheduled broadcast

Which basically means I'm taking a break from FINALLY working on/writing my senior research paper. You know, being that I've got less than 3 weeks until I graduate, it's probably a good idea to get this bitch under control. Have no fear, progress is being made. I actually have a solid 3 pages of writing and some figures in, which is a huge improvement from my zero pages about 2 hours ago.

I don't know about y'all, but I had a pretty dang good Thanksgiving. In fact, I had two of them, one of which include mounds of my mother's yummy cooking which she does FAR too infrequently for my liking because no matter how much you try to replicate your mother's recipe, something is always missing. So, needless to say, I gained about five pounds Friday alone. Oh well!

But what does this all mean? It means that my FAVORITE FUCKING HOLIDAY is upon us! Christmas is almost here! I love this dang season and I'm doing everything I can to shake off this crazy, stressful, depressing funk that's been clinging to me and embracing my favorite time of year. I decorated my place and now every time I walk in my front door it makes me smile. I'm getting my tree this coming week and will squeal with delight once it's in it's proper place, lights all aglow. I've enjoyed my peppermint mochas and spiced apple ciders in the red cup from starbucks and I've begun my all time favorite activity: christmas shopping for all! I love giving people gifts and watching their faces light up as they open them. Whether it's a big or small gift, the joy of giving something to someone warms my soul (assuming I still have one of course).

Anyways, I digress. This post was supposed to be about the fact that the only place I can ever get any work done is Starbucks. So, as I'm sitting here I nearly laughed out loud remembering a story I forgot to post here about the last time I was camped out at a starbucks in F-town. There I was, frantically banging away at my keyboard, emailing professors at universities left and right to try and find some damn sponsorship for my future when, EEK, the urge to void all the caffeine I just consumed hit me. I made sure my belongings were secure and scurried off to the loo, locking the door behind me. As I was washing my hand I was incredibly glad I had just emptied my bladder because someone slammed their body against the door while rattling the handle to open it. Finding their path blocked after ramming the door like a left tackle, they proceeded to knock incessantly on the door. Annoyed, I opened the door with wet hands still clutching a paper towel to come face to face with a large, strange woman, dressed from head to toe in some fashion of clothes/pajamas in many shades of pink, who seemed startled to find another human on the other side of the door. She looked at me and said "I didn't know anyone was in there."

No apology.
No "excuse me".
Just pure stupidity.

I finished drying my hands, tossed the paper towel in the trash and squeezed past her and explained to her in as few words as possible that that's what the locked door was all about.

Surprisingly, after that incident, pimping myself out to all of mankind felt somewhat more satisfying because hell, even if I didn't get a sponsor, at least I knew the functions of a locked door.


Happy day before tofu-turkey-day

Today? Is a great day. Why might you ask? Here's why...

1. It's the day before Thanksgiving.
2. I got to wear jeans to work.
3. I get off an hour early because of the holiday.
4. I'm looking down the barrel of a four-fucking-day-weekend playas.
5. It's cold, so I got to rock my new long fuscia wool coat (hot!)
6. I had a super awesome lunch date.
7. I get to have TWO Thanksgivings this week.
8. With the four day weekend I'm thinking it might be time to make some peanut butter balls.
9. I realized that I have approximately 3 weeks until I am a college graduate (also slightly frightening but let's focus on the positive here)
10. I just received the most encouraging email from a prospective professor at one of the universities I applied to that makes my heart soar.

There they are, 10 not so random things that have made me smile today. Having been a bit blue lately, it's nice to not only feel great but stop and be thankful for all that I have. A loving family, AMAZING friends (even if they try to pimp me out to their brothers *cough* melissa! *cough*) and more blessings than I realize.

As for Black Friday plans, I intend to stuff myself at my mother's house and that's it. I will not join the crazies at 3 am to save $50. I will not rampage through a store for a sale. No. Because, in all honestly folks, we know I'd end up stabbing somebody. That's just how it would be. So any money saved would then have to be spent on bail and that's entirely too counter productive in my book. No, I much prefer to let my lazy ass sleep in and order my christmas presents off of the internet :)

So happy Thanksgiving y'all! May your blessings be many and your pants be stretchy!


Nostalgia stings like a punch in the crotch

5 years ago I made a tough decision. A decision to end my time away at college and move home. There were a lot of factors that went into that decision and to this day it was probably one of the most difficult ones I've yet to make. To pack up my meager belongings from my dorm room, fill up my car, and head back out of town without the chance to properly say goodbye to my friends, to the life that I had begun to create.

I've never felt regret at making that decision because I did what had to be done. That is until now. For some reason I find myself dwelling more and more on my time spent up in the PNW, the amazing friends I made and how my time with them was cut short, the life I could have been living now if I'd found another solution to the problems at the time. It's hard not to think that all the pain and rejection and stress I'm feeling right now could have been avoided if I'd done that. Then again, maybe not. Oh to have a bloody crystal ball or freaking Delorian to take me back in time and see what happens if I made that other decision.

Regardless, it's safe to say that I've been a little blue and nostalgic. And also a little cross at the amount of money I've been shelling out lately. Between graduate applications and spending about $300 on my car today (with more to come in a few months maybe) it's just frustrating to feel like you're going in circles and not getting anywhere.

Depressing much? I know. What happened to the old Bees? The one who was sarcastic and cranky and ran into things all the time? I spose she's still around here somewhere. If you find her, let me know.


Today we remember while moving forward

Today? is Veteran's Day. A day to honor and remember all of those before today and currently who have fought to defend the freedom that we so enjoy. Today, I thank you Rod, Dan, Robert, Joshua, Scott, Frank and any whom I cannot call to mind, because you have made a difference.

On a day like today it seems fitting to try to think positively, which has not been one of my strong suits these days. It's hard to see the small joys around you when you're constantly worrying about the future and where you're going to end up. I stumbled upon THIS blog post and found that it warmed my soul a little and brought a smile to my face. A genuine smile.

So despite what you're going through, despite the pain or suffering or sadness that you might be feeling, remember that you are worthwhile. You are something. And you are special. These are words that even I forget and need to remind myself from time to time. Enjoy today, give thanks and remember.