this is like waving a candy bar in front of a diabetic or a fifty in front of a hooker

Why must you tempt me SO!

Touche Virgin Atlantic, touche.

You know that old song "This is the song that never ends" that repeats and drives you bonkers. Just replace song with day.

I have left the motherland to return to htown. It's such a bittersweet event. I soaked up my last views of the city as I arrived at the airport in style via the red mercedes cab that picked me up. Good ol Londontown, you never really leave it though.

I thoroughly enjoyed being lazy and reading tons of books and riding trains and laying in parks and doing all the nature things I did AND most importantly, hanging out with the lovely Mel. You rock Mel! It's kind of ridiculous when her and I get together, but always entertaining. Like the 80's dance disco club we went to on Friday night. Woah and woah. Like woah. A total freakfestathon to watch and it was amazing.

I'm currently hanging out in the Vegas airport, watching skeevy men from the valley try and get that last minute hook up in the airport with some other real "classy" ladies on the flight. At this point, I'm incredibly happy that this airport has booze everywhere, as they have left in search of some. Ok, so maybe I'm a little cranky, but considering I've been up for almost 24 hours, I think I'm a little entitled. Today's travel has taught me several things. Firstly, when you plan ahead and arrive uber early, sometimes things can fall into place so smoothly you find yourself with oodles of time to wait for your flight. Secondly, for international flights, direct is the way to go because transfers? far too stressful. Thirdly, I will never EVER never ever ever fly into JFK again if I can avoid it. That place is a mad house with absolutely no organization.....or A/C. Thumbs down JFK. And lastly, if it's ever possible that I pop out a rug rat, said rug rat will not be allowed to kick and whack their head against and jab with their tiny elbows the strange adult that is sitting next to them on the plane like the kid next to me for 7 hours. Or bang on the seat in front of him. Or beat on his sister next to him. If that's the case, he'd be checked in cargo in a crate and I'd pick him up at the oversize baggage carousel when we landed.

All that said, I'd chalk this up to a successful vacation indeed!

One more flight to go, 40 minute car ride and I will be comatose in my own bed (yesssssss) for about 12 hours.

It only costs a pound or two, but it will save your life, and my stomach.

That's it.

I've decided that I need to find me a big pot o' gold at the end of some freaking rainbow because leisure and me? We just work together. I feel better than I have since I was in London last Spring. Completely relaxed, no pressure, no stress, nothing. I've read half a book today among my dilly-dallying around the city and that makes this my 5th book that I've almost finished since I've been on vacation. I'm rested and happy and it is a feeling I'm going to miss when I leave vacation behind. But that's days away so for now, I shall wrap myself in this awesome feeling.

Today I went cave exploring. Well, more I followed an experienced guide through pitch black chalk mine caves holding a little gas lantern and that? was pretty amazing. I went to the Chislehurst Caves today and then wandered back into the city to visit Trafalgar Square, Westminster, eat a late late late lunch in the Victoria garden/park next to Parliament and then found my way back home before commute time made the trains unbearable. I don't know what this evening holds, but I know it will be grand even if it's just dinner and a movie again.

I find myself trying to avoid or breeze through the large site/touristy areas because I just don't have the patience for tourists. Yes, yes I know technically I am a tourist but since I've lived here I feel less like a tourist and more like I've just fallen back into one of my favorite places. I do have a few tips for the would be tourists out there, mostly based off of things that were either irritating or gag inducing:

1. DEODORANT! I cannot stress how important this one step in a daily routine can be. It will make your journey and the journey of anyone within a 500 meter radius much more pleasant. I am already incredibly tired of being forced to control my gag reflex by running into a wall of dirty pit stench. Whether it be in a train car or on a street corner. Come on ya'll, one small step for mankind.

2. Pull over to discuss, take photos or look at a map. Standing in the middle of the bottom of a set of stairs in the tube is unwise, you will lose a limb and I may or may not be the one to take it from you. The middle of the sidewalk is not a gathering place. And please, PLEASE do not give myself or other passersby dirty looks when we bump into you. The sidewalk is not wide enough that your ass and your pride can reside in the middle of the damn thing.

3. If you're wielding luggage or a buggy (stroller) kindly stay to one side or the other. Don't lolly-gag and cause a traffic jam. You will get unkind looks and huffs from most Londoners who are going to and fro.

I have yet to have the energy to try and post any pictures and actually I haven't taken many. I have so many photos from living here it's hard not to think I'm just taking more of the same pictures. My trip seems to have a nature theme going : zoo, wetlands, chalk caves... so most pictures are just of scenery but someday I'll put a few up.

Till then, cheers.

It's kind of early, I'm pretty hungry and not sure what's going on with this stupid software

This was intended to be a long post chalk full of pictures and such.

But then my computer and blogger started being an asshole, so we'll see how far I get.

I've been out of NY for almost a week now and while I had a rough start, I'm thoroughly enjoying myself now and back to the swing of things in London. Getting here was a doozy though. After much wasted time standing in lines at JFK, I finally boarded my plane and we pushed off and headed down the tarmac....only to stop and be told they were shutting the engines off and we weren't leaving for at least 2 hours. What has been left out of this story is that I was sitting next to quite possibly the craziest bitch on the planet, who had to be hopped up on meth or crack or something, so those extra few hours were not pleasant. We finally get airborne and they serve us the fabulous airline cuisine for dinner but by the time they reach me...no more vegetarian meals left, no biggie, ate the salad and roll, good to go. Arrive in London finally, get away from miss crazy, get grilled for 5 minutes by passport control and finally grab my luggage and head for the tube at the airport, which is forever and a day away. Get on the train, done. Get to where I need to change tube lines, good to go. Get to Victoria station to catch the overground train to Melissa's and of course there are no elevators here. Cut to me going slowly up the stairs, banging my suitcase and an old man wanting to be helpful and me reassuring him I am fine fine fine but he'll have none of it so he grabs my suitcase....and breaks the handle. Then runs away saying sorry. Now I'm stuck with a broke ass suitcase and have to manage the rest of the journey. By the time I finally reached the flat I was dehydrated, starving and exhausted. I thought "some food, some water, maybe a nap, you'll be good to go."

I was wrong.

So very wrong.

The food I ate, came right back up....twice. Along with the water I drank. My nap turned into having to sleep my entire first day here because every time I went vertical, my stomach clenched and threatened to send me heaving again. The girls here were great and took fantastic care of me, but worry struck because we were leaving for Dublin the next day! Thank the heavens when I woke up all was well, though my stomach was still a little iffy, and Mel and I made our way to Dublin just fine.

Dublin was great, except for all the Americans there. Don't get me wrong I've got lots of pride and love my country, but dammit I didn't go to Dublin to look at and listen to my countrymen. But, even with that, we had a great time there and made it safely back to London. Where the next day I met up with Mo Coppoletta at The Family Business Tattoo shop and got some new ink done, which is gorgeous and I love it. He has a book coming out, which is kind of exciting, and honestly he's one of the most fun tattoo artists I've ever had work done by. An incredibly enjoyable experience both times I've gone to him.

Now my time of leisure truly begins. I have no plans to speak of, which is awesome. Mel and I tried to go to our favorite Friday night hotspot in Angel, for I Love the 90's, only to be horrified to find that it has been replaced with some indie music night and the skankalicious girls were stankin' the area up so we just had dinner and came back to the flat to chill for a bit. A sad let down but I guess all good things can't last. What's up for today? Who knows, the zoo maybe? Reading in the park? Walking the city?

Until next time....

Live from FAT: Part Duex

I may have accidentally typed Live from FART. No joke. And then died with laughter causing the 5 other people in here to look at me like I'm the crazy girl in the pink dress. :)

You read right, live from FAT again. I'm waiting for my little plane to take me to a bigger plane which will take me to NYC where I will get to see the fabulous Lady Kate and amazing Alli D. It's going to be kind of awesome. Although I have just realized I have forgotten one very important item.....Butch. Poor Butch. He never made it into my carry on. I guess he just couldn't leave California behind, even for a couple weeks. Can't say I blame him, but he's a bit crazy. I think he's just too excited about Fresno State Football starting in a couple months that he completely forgot about coming back to London to visit with his long lost brother Stetson.

In preparation for leaving I've had my suitcases out for awhile and of course Heimy was not a happy camper. He kept sniffing them and giving me dirty looks. Then last night it's like he KNEW I was leaving. He went outside and didn't come back in until I was up and moving around this morning, which is like unheard of because that fool wakes me up at least 2 times a night crying in my face to let me know he's inside. I was starting to think he'd finally had enough of me and then he walked inside. He was none-too-pleased when I wouldn't let him back outside and proceeded to curl up on the bed and ignore me even as I was leaving. Jerk. His girlfriend, Miss Dee, is coming to stay with him though, so he better shape UP.

I'm kind of in awe that this trip is here already. It seems like I just served up one of my kidneys to pay for these plane tickets a few weeks ago when it's really been like 6 months (recovery is going well, the scar will just serve as a reminder of my dedication to visit friends and travel). Of course I've had to also pre-sale my first born in order to afford checking my one bag to NY and for other travel expenses, but hey, who can't live without one kidney and any kids? I think I'll sell my spleen to go to Australia.

I limited myself to only bringing 5 books with me, and I hope it's enough. While I don't mind going book shopping ANYWHERE or anytime, I then have to manage to get them home. My brother in law looked at me kind of squirrely when I told him that, and then I had to explain that my plans for LDN are to walk in parks and in the city and read. That is a small slice of heaven if you ask me. Oh who am I kidding, I'm sure I'll come home with at least 2 new books. Tune back in 3 weeks from now to find out.

Look out Big Apple, here comes this pink clad small town girl. Please don't go all Coyote Ugly on me.

Cheers and beers, those were the days....

Today is a memorable day. Why you ask yourself? Because exactly 1 year ago today I was on my way to London. Actually, right about now I was in London passed out in bed from freaking exhaustion, but, nevertheless, it's amazing how quickly time flies. I can't believe I left a year ago today to spend four months going on amazing adventures and living in what I consider the best city ever.

So here's to you London Town, I'd raise a glass of cider in you honor if I could find a decent place around here that had it on tap. And also? if I could make it there because my ass and thighs are so sore from the gym right now that I've been contemplating getting a glass of water for about 2o minutes but still haven't mustered the energy and gumption it would take to get up and get it. Wait, where was I? Oh yes, here's to you, ol LDN, you brought many adventures, great times, new friends and I can't wait to see you again this summer!

I'm like Typhoid Mary

But for snow storms. First year in WA = worst winter in like forever. First week in London = worst snow fall since 1991. Though, honestly, this place ain't got nothing on Spocompton. Though they do seem to lack the ability to shovel/salt sidewalks and roads with any sort of speed and efficiency, which would explain why I weeble wobbled my way to the tube station today looking much like a penguin would if it were to walk through, say, sand. But ALAS! I did not fall.. yet. And it's melting away now. But, for your viewing pleasures, here are a few snap shots of my progress to the tube yesterday (I lugged my ass all the way down there while it was snowing, ran a bunch of errands before class only to find out... classes were all canceled. nice.)

The first 2 are from a little park right down my road, the other 2 are from my progress down St. James Street towards the Angel Tube Station.

So there you have it. Since yesterday was a snow day, today is my first official day of class. I had one already and it was alright, definitely a different teaching style round here. And then I have one more around 6 tonight, so we'll see how it goes!

To Answer the Question of Many

Since almost everyone asked me: Yes, it does snow in London. And here is proof.

These are outside my dorm. So to answer another question, yes it's been freaking cold. Lots of wind and cold. But still amazingly beautiful.  Today there was a huge celebration in Trafalgar Square and Leicester Square for the Chinese New Year. Very cool. On Saturday I went to the Portobello Market (but did not see any mushrooms!) in Notting Hill, also very  cool. Here's a few snap shots from all that, and from a night out on the town.

People heading towards the market down Portobello Road.

Some awesomely colored buildings on P. Road.

Aubrey and me in P. Market.

A little pub action.

The laaaaadies.

Chinese New Year Celebration in Trafalgar Square.

This was in China Town.

And for all the Harry Potter lovers/fans, I went to Platform 9 3/4 at Kings Cross to catch the Hogwarts Express. :)

And yes the trolly is halfway through the wall.

School starts tomorrow, so I might not be able to post as many photos as I have been the past couple days, but one never knows. I did get a couple trips scheduled this weekend! I'm going to Scotland on the 2oth of February, around the english countryside the weekend of Feb 28th and to Wales on March 14th. I also got super cheap tickets to see The Phantom of the Opera at Her Majesty's Theatre on March 23rd, when Katie's here! Yay!

Off to defrost my frozen toes.

Back from Tesco

Me at Buckingham Palace

Some of my awesome program ladies!

Me, Alexis and Sandra on the river Thames cruise.

Laura, Amanda, Aubrey and Jen on the river cruise.

Cool building from atop the boat.

The Tower Building.

Buildings along Thames.

More buildings (such pretty buildings!)

Parliament and Ben Big from the Thames.

My first visit to a pub

My first pint!

Yay!

First London fish and chips (and as I said, I ate it even though I don't really like fish).

First week, check.

First week is officially over. No orientation today, which was nice, however, Aubrey and I went in search of finding the locations of our classrooms, and holy mother of hell was that ridiculous. All of my class and all of hers (sans 1) are in the same building. But it's the building built by the white rabbit in Alice and Wonderland because it's impossible to find things (and it of course helps to check doors that are open to see if they in fact are the room number you're looking for!) A recap of what's happened so far this week.

More walking than humanly possible. I'm going to have buns of steel by the time I come home.

Bus/Boat tour with program peeps that toured the city, which was nice.

Checking out Big Ben and Parliament, so gorgeous at night!

Meeting a random german kid outside the tube in Westminster and ending up with a new pal.

Did I mention walking yet?

Going to my first London pub for a pint and fish and chips (yes I drank beer and actually ate fish, you can pick your jaw up now.)

I'm sure there's more, but honestly, I can't think of anything right now. I've been sans internet for a couple days here, so thinking back all week is tough. I do have tons of photos, which I'll try to post right now unless it takes forever and I get uber pissed and walk away. :)  I've got to pop into the shop for some groceries so I don't starve.

Me in front of Big Ben on my 2nd night here.

Aubrey, our new friend Sebastian and Laura in Westminster.

Parliament all-a-glow

The london eye in the back.

Aubrey and me waiting in between orientation sessions on campus.

Alexis and me!

Jen, Alexis and me after dinner.

Jen and me walking in Angel after dinner.

This one's for you Virgin Atlantic

By far the best flight I've ever had. Hats off to VA, they rock. And they gave you a free tooth brush/tooth paste, socks and little eye shade thing. Sweet.

So I'm here and it's already pretty awesome. I'm exhausted but I stayed up so hopefully jet lag may not kill me quite as much.

FYI to all who took one of my contact cards, there has been a change. The address is wrong b/c they put me in a different building.  The correct address is:

Flat 22/Liberty House

1 Sebastian Street

London

EC1V 0HF

Spread the word to any interested or affected parties.  It was the only hitch in my travel today, otherwise everything else was awesome.

Off to pass out.

The day has arrived

Here's a little preview of my excitement for the Motherland. I'd say I'll try to replicate it with the real thing, but I don't quite think my arms are long enough.

It's 12:11 am. I just finished marathon packing and am now charging every electronic device I own and am taking with me. This, for some reason, is always my pre-trip ritual. I guess that's what happens when procrastination is allowed to run rampant.

In approximately 17 hours I will board my flight to London... and finally breathe a sigh of relief that I managed to pull everything together.

Less than a month to go..

With less than 30 days until I cross the pond, things are starting to pile up.  Oh sure, I've got my VISA, a place to live, luggage to pack my life away into and tickets for that large steel bird in the sky, but with so much other stuff left to do, it's tough to remember that the big things are already dealt with.  But one thing is for sure, in 26 days, ready or not, this yank is invading the motherland.