Sometimes enough isn't enough and all you want to do is punch life in the nuts.

On a night when I should be ecstatic because I'm done with finals and free for a month AND I've knocked out another semester leaving only 2 left, I find myself falling extremely short of excitement.

During what should be a most joyous time of the year, my favorite time in fact, my family is faced yet again with another hardship and one that I'm not at all prepared to face. Despite having dealt with the suicide of a father, the loss of a best friend in a car crash, the drowning of a 3 year old nephew and on and on, I can't seem to get a grasp on a 3 year old with cancer. It just seems unjustly cruel and impossible. A week ago my little cousin was just a regular boy, feeling a little under the weather. Then he was a little boy with a brain tumor. And now he's a kid who's life could be cut short by an aggressive form of cancer. This simply does not compute in my mind. I know that my family is strong and will face this tragedy one day at a time, one foot in front of the other but it doesn't stop me from wanting to weep out of sadness for a little life possibly being cut short. Or stop me from aching with sympathy and compassion for what my cousins, his parents, must be going through. In a time like this, words seem to fail and can't do anything justice.

After everything I've seen and experienced this, right here, is why in the words of Layfayette from True Blood, Jesus and I have agreed to see other people. I have a hard time putting my faith in a God that allows a family like mine to continually undergo tragedy after tragedy. At some point enough has fucking got to be enough. For my little cousins sake, I won't let my shaky faith affect him though. I've said my prayers and forwarded the word on to those who are better equipped to pray for this kind of thing. I'm afraid I just won't be able to do it with the full heart and mind it deserves and needs. So for those I've emailed, thank you for your love and prayers, I know my family appreciates it. And for those that I haven't and are just reading this, please keep this little guy in your prayers. He's a great kid who deserves to get to lead a full life.

In light of all that has happened in the past week, I find it ridiculous to bitch about things like finals and lack of sleep but in all honesty, I guess these would be the little mountains of hardship that I face everyday... so I'll continue to bitch. But here's to hoping for a Christmas miracle for one little dude who totally deserves it.


Like a relative at Christmas, you can't get rid of me that easily.

Holy shit ya'll, a month. That's almost how long it's been since I've written anything. That's sad, especially because I have the memory and attention span of a fly so anything remotely funny or dumb that happened to me... I've forgotten. I blame it on the drugs. Ok, I'm not on drugs, but it sounded good rather than "I'm just a huge dumbass who can't remember what day it is or where my pants are." (Seriously, have you seen my pants?)

In all reality what's been going on hasn't been that exciting. I've just been overwhelmed with life. Trying to finish out the semester without failing, working and squeezing in some sleep and friend time when I can. Thanksgiving was great. I ate my weight in pie and then had to come home and go for a run so I didn't hate myself. Especially since I haven't been to the gym in 8 weeks. AHHH! Shh... don't tell Jenny, my old trainer. I did however, finally go last night (yay!) and now I can't walk today. That's what I get for spending an hour and going 4 miles on the tread mill. And then stupid me wore seriously heeled boots to work today. When you can't move your thighs without grimacing? Not. So. Smart.

Christmas is coming! And I'm so stinking excited it should be illegal (in fact it might be in some countries). I just love the holidays. The weather, the smells, the family time and the giving. People do amazing things during this time of year for other people that how can you not help but love it! We're having an Ugly Sweater Christmas Party at my house this weekend an I am SO ready to get my ugly sweater on! It's been crazy squeezing planning time in inbetween everything else, but I think me, Meg and Dee will pull it off. It's the first annual one, which means it'll only get better from here. Pictures will follow after the party, promise! These ugly beauties must be shown to the world.

I need something warm to drink because I'm getting frostbite on my hands right now, so this is short, but sweet, to say that hopefully I'm BACK! and will continue to grace you with my stupidity and lack of coordination. Cheers for now folks, the hot cocoa is calling my name.