Nostalgia stings like a punch in the crotch

5 years ago I made a tough decision. A decision to end my time away at college and move home. There were a lot of factors that went into that decision and to this day it was probably one of the most difficult ones I've yet to make. To pack up my meager belongings from my dorm room, fill up my car, and head back out of town without the chance to properly say goodbye to my friends, to the life that I had begun to create.

I've never felt regret at making that decision because I did what had to be done. That is until now. For some reason I find myself dwelling more and more on my time spent up in the PNW, the amazing friends I made and how my time with them was cut short, the life I could have been living now if I'd found another solution to the problems at the time. It's hard not to think that all the pain and rejection and stress I'm feeling right now could have been avoided if I'd done that. Then again, maybe not. Oh to have a bloody crystal ball or freaking Delorian to take me back in time and see what happens if I made that other decision.

Regardless, it's safe to say that I've been a little blue and nostalgic. And also a little cross at the amount of money I've been shelling out lately. Between graduate applications and spending about $300 on my car today (with more to come in a few months maybe) it's just frustrating to feel like you're going in circles and not getting anywhere.

Depressing much? I know. What happened to the old Bees? The one who was sarcastic and cranky and ran into things all the time? I spose she's still around here somewhere. If you find her, let me know.