That way I can never make you feel inferior, because I'm totally more deranged than you are.

How'd your hump day go? Mine went a little like this.

4:50 am - wake up call.
5:45 am - begin search for keys because not where they should be and need to leave to get to work.
5:50 am - find keys hanging in front door, where they clearly sat all night. brilliant.
6:00 am - get to work and tackle immense stack of form filing, that concluded in me get several bloody and painful cut hangnails from all the paper. lovely.
8:45 am - leave work after fielding 4 phone calls in the 5 minutes I was trying to leave my desk, and head to Fresno for class.
9:15 - hear it announced on the radio that Dane Cook is coming to Fresno.. SWEET! On 10/23, fuuuuuuck. I'll be in Arizona.
10:00 - sit through seriously boring Biochem lecture (I feel like I'm learning the same shit over and over and over again, enough already, let's get something new up in this place we call Biology!)
11:00 - sit through even more boring and pointless Swine Production lecture .... on ear notching.
12:00 - enjoy quiet lunch, whilst sweating to death because it's fucking ridiculously hot outside.
1:00 - sit through Beef Production video, zzzzzzzzzzz.
2:00 - Beef Production lab... watched 2 more videos. ugggh.
3:00 - FREEDOM! until 6.
6:00 - sit through almost 2 hours of the most ridiculous Information Systems class where we're learning what computers are and how to use them! HAHAHAHAH, this is so retarded I don't even think it warrants any more comments.
9:15 - finally make it home, where I do NOT leave the keys in the door and promptly make a large beverage... containing lots of rum.

Now that might not sound like such a difficult day or crappy day, until you factor in that I also realized half way through the day that I had fucking PINK shit all over my jeans. Hmm... where could that come from? Possibly from the rug washing incident. Fuck me. Really.

Ok, so people tend to tell me, often, "Gosh, you're so mean, hahaha!" or something along those lines because they don't understand sarcasm or witty banter. But then that got me thinking, maybe I am mean? Or am I really what I call just brutally honest? If you look dumb, I'll tell you so. If that is a stupid thing to say or do, I'll tell you so. But what's important in this lesson is also this, I AM THE MOST SOCIALLY AWKWARD PERSON EVER. Got it? good. So if I'm being "mean" to you, really, you have nothing to worry about because guaranteed if you hang around me a bit longer, I'll put my foot in my mouth, or fall and hurt myself or generally just do a really dumb thing, so see, we're all kindred spirits here. I'm just more vocal. So please stop telling me these things because after years of trying to change, it just ain't going to happen. You know how they say you can stick feathers up your butt, but that still doesn't make you a chicken? Well I can pretend to be nice all I want, but that doesn't make me not a bitch. In light of that, here is an amazing sticker I saw awhile back on my way to the gym.

Just don't do it.


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