It could have been love, if only he had pointed out the sunburn

Why? Why do I attract all the creepies to me as I told Megan "like flies on shit". Seriously? Is it my perfume? My lotion? My fucking hairspray? I'd like to know because I'll stop doing it, whatever it is. After a nice spa party night at Judy's house, Megan and I went to Panera Bread to get some much needed sustenance.  We roll up in the joint and Megan points out that I still have some of the white face mask that we used at the party on my face (because *coughshepainteditonmyfacereallythickanditwashardtowashoffcough*). But I was like "whatever, I don't care" to which she replied "no one will even notice."

So fucking wrong.

We're standing there debating on what to get and this random creeper dude walks up behind us while we're chatting and I turn to tell him he can go in front of us and here is what follows:

Creeper: Were you painting before you came here.
Me: Um, no.
Creeper: *staring slightly open mouthed dazed and confused*
Me: It's something else.
Megan: We were at a spa party.
Me: It's part of a face mask.
Creeper: Oh, uh... *awkward laugh*
Me: um, yeah.

And all the while Megan is laughing her ass off next to me. It's all her fault! :D

THEN as if that wasn't awkward enough of an interlude, we're walking to a booth and we happen to pass near him and he proceeds to interact with me again, yelling "That's an awesome bag too, by the way." Referring to my amazing I heart Mr. Darcy bag. Wow. Yeah, what a winner.

If only he'd commented on my strange striped sunburn on my forehead from floating Sunday, he might have gotten some action. It would have been hard to resist the tri-fecta of creepiness

p.s. Here's the new love of my life, Oscar VanApplestein.



Denise said...

LOL....you crack me up. Gotta love those creepers. Hahahaha

And I think Oscar is the most attractive apple I've ever seen. But don't worry. I won't try to steal him from you. ;)

Post a Comment