Balltastic.

So what do you do when you have a kind of cruddy Monday at work because well, it's Monday, you're tired and you've got a ton of stuff to do and your feeling a wee bit stressed?

Well I don't know about you but I took it out on my backyard. I pulled a few weeds, I raked a bunch of leaves (yes leaves, yes it's summer not fall, I don't understand it either you'd have to ask that fecking tree in my backyard that drops leaves ALL YEAR LONG) and, I tackled trimming back two small trees back there that were kind of taking over. I couldn't walk past them to the rest of the patio without ducking. Here is where I had a tiny problem though. Even though I wanted to take out my aggression on said trees, I don't per say own proper tree trimming equipment. The big squeezy trimmer thing, would have been helpful, a chain saw would have been most excellent (though let's face it, no one is letting me wield a chain saw on my own considering I can't even close my car door without maiming myself). But alas, I had none of these. So what do you do when you have two trees getting smart with themselves and taking over your backyard but nothing to trim them with? You grab a heavy duty pair of old scissors and show those bitches who is boss, THAT'S what. I know, scissors right? Geez Anna, way to be ghetto. But these aren't giant trees and scissors cut through most branches. Let me tell you, they are 100% better than before. Now someone who possess the right equipment (including a ladder) please come to my house and finish the job because they're still out of control way up high. :)

After attacking my backyard with a vengeance, I went to a softball game. And then watched a movie. And of course, me being me, towards the end of said movie I managed to knock over an entire glass of water....that was full...and it was a 32 oz. glass. Awesome. I really don't understand why my brain and my limbs cannot communicate with one another. Seriously body? The deuce.

What does any of this have to do with balls? Absolutely nothing. But it is fun to say.

The universe has spoken

And unless they invent a full body bubble suit, I will not be learning to ride a bike soon.

Yesterday I ran into my car door with my knee, and the pain was instant. Now? There is about a golf ball sized purple bruised slight goose egg looking monstrosity on my knee. Awesome.

Way to be subtle universe.

To ride or not to ride, that IS the question. No really, it is.

In the past week I've had two completely different conversations with two different people and both of them? circled around to bike riding. And to the ever pressing question I then ask myself "why don't you learn to ride a bike like every other normal functioning adult?". And then I answer myself "because i'm a big fat weiner who hates to admit but she's afraid of those two wheeled BEASTS!". Considering I've asked myself this twice this week oddly enough, it's safe to say it's a topic up for debate. I really should learn to ride a bike, I mean, it's a pretty basic skill right? Of course there's the whole problem of me being one of the most uncoordinated people on the planet (and if you disagree I have a story from Dublin that will change your mind, believe me...) and the other slight problem of me not owning a bike. Food for thought, or more like wheels for thought? Pain for thought? Hurt pride for thought? I don't know, I should be thinking about something but now I've gotten completely distracted and OH SHINY....

I also finally saw Eclipse in the past week. My thoughts? Cheesy still, definitely, but I feel like each movie they do a better and better job of making the movie less painful to watch. I was a bit skeptical considering of the 4 books, this one is my favorite, so I was afraid they'd slaughter it. But they did an alright job and I didn't leave cringing at having to admit that I saw it..in the theatre.

Why does it have to be hot as balls outside? Granted it's cooler than it was a couple days ago. A mere 101 instead of 105 or whatever the blasted hell it was. But seriously. It makes me NOT want to do anything. I am physically incapable of functioning when it is above 95. I should go to the gym, but the thought of getting hot and sweaty when I'm already hot and sweaty, makes me gag a little. And then I think I should go swimming! But I don't have the energy to squeeze my large behind (from not going to the gym) into my bathing suit and sloughing myself over to scam on the sister's pool. All I can muster the energy for is changing into clothes that are akin to underwear and flopping myself on a couch under the air vent with a fan on me. I commend people who do not have airconditioning because I have discovered that I? am a prima donna who needs her fecking A/C! So bravo all you brave souls, my wallet weeps for your bravery as it shells out money to pay for my refrigerated air.

Because of the heat and my longing to dig my toes in the sand, I am desperately craving a trip to the beach. It might happen on Saturday. A quick trip over to soak up some cool ocean breeze, in the sun, in the sand, with a book. *sigh* For now, I'll have to settle for munching on ice and sitting around in my chonies.

This may require two tylenol and a gallon of water in the morning.

A week ago today I was on a plane. Somewhere.

Today is a much different version of what I was doing a week ago.

Today I was nothing but lazy. I woke up fairly early, laid in bed for awhile, then finally got up and got dressed to go to the movies with the sister and our friend. After nearly polishing off the world's largest popcorn bucket with the sister, I came home to do......nothing.

An incredibly unproductive day. I could have continued to hang my frames in my room, but I didn't. Or clean my apartment. But I didn't. Or done any number of things.

But I didn't.

I did however, have an eventful Saturday. After a few errands and a trip to Lowes to pick up the newest love of my life, the laser level, I joined some old high school chaps for a trip to the movies. Needless to say for about 3 hours I had the hugest high school flashback, but it was a lot of fun to be around those guys again. After that it was off to the grandparents for a BBQ to see my family from Japan that was visiting as well as family from nearby that I don't get to see on a regular basis. It was so nice to see everyone and we managed to survive the ball sweat inducing heat that threatened to turn us all into balls of human flesh and sweat, unrecognizable to anyone. Honestly, must H-town reside smack dab in the middle of the devil's crotch? Because it's so blasted hot that dessert for dinner is going to be in effect until the triple digits leave as it's the only thing one should eat when it's that hot.

So back to my day of nothing. I'm capping it off by opening the bottle of champagne that's been in my fridge since December. Perhaps it's a bit sad and pathetic to open a bottle of champagne to consume alone. And perhaps it's just the thing that a day of laziness and gluttony calls for.

I vote option two.

You know that old song "This is the song that never ends" that repeats and drives you bonkers. Just replace song with day.

I have left the motherland to return to htown. It's such a bittersweet event. I soaked up my last views of the city as I arrived at the airport in style via the red mercedes cab that picked me up. Good ol Londontown, you never really leave it though.

I thoroughly enjoyed being lazy and reading tons of books and riding trains and laying in parks and doing all the nature things I did AND most importantly, hanging out with the lovely Mel. You rock Mel! It's kind of ridiculous when her and I get together, but always entertaining. Like the 80's dance disco club we went to on Friday night. Woah and woah. Like woah. A total freakfestathon to watch and it was amazing.

I'm currently hanging out in the Vegas airport, watching skeevy men from the valley try and get that last minute hook up in the airport with some other real "classy" ladies on the flight. At this point, I'm incredibly happy that this airport has booze everywhere, as they have left in search of some. Ok, so maybe I'm a little cranky, but considering I've been up for almost 24 hours, I think I'm a little entitled. Today's travel has taught me several things. Firstly, when you plan ahead and arrive uber early, sometimes things can fall into place so smoothly you find yourself with oodles of time to wait for your flight. Secondly, for international flights, direct is the way to go because transfers? far too stressful. Thirdly, I will never EVER never ever ever fly into JFK again if I can avoid it. That place is a mad house with absolutely no organization.....or A/C. Thumbs down JFK. And lastly, if it's ever possible that I pop out a rug rat, said rug rat will not be allowed to kick and whack their head against and jab with their tiny elbows the strange adult that is sitting next to them on the plane like the kid next to me for 7 hours. Or bang on the seat in front of him. Or beat on his sister next to him. If that's the case, he'd be checked in cargo in a crate and I'd pick him up at the oversize baggage carousel when we landed.

All that said, I'd chalk this up to a successful vacation indeed!

One more flight to go, 40 minute car ride and I will be comatose in my own bed (yesssssss) for about 12 hours.

It only costs a pound or two, but it will save your life, and my stomach.

That's it.

I've decided that I need to find me a big pot o' gold at the end of some freaking rainbow because leisure and me? We just work together. I feel better than I have since I was in London last Spring. Completely relaxed, no pressure, no stress, nothing. I've read half a book today among my dilly-dallying around the city and that makes this my 5th book that I've almost finished since I've been on vacation. I'm rested and happy and it is a feeling I'm going to miss when I leave vacation behind. But that's days away so for now, I shall wrap myself in this awesome feeling.

Today I went cave exploring. Well, more I followed an experienced guide through pitch black chalk mine caves holding a little gas lantern and that? was pretty amazing. I went to the Chislehurst Caves today and then wandered back into the city to visit Trafalgar Square, Westminster, eat a late late late lunch in the Victoria garden/park next to Parliament and then found my way back home before commute time made the trains unbearable. I don't know what this evening holds, but I know it will be grand even if it's just dinner and a movie again.

I find myself trying to avoid or breeze through the large site/touristy areas because I just don't have the patience for tourists. Yes, yes I know technically I am a tourist but since I've lived here I feel less like a tourist and more like I've just fallen back into one of my favorite places. I do have a few tips for the would be tourists out there, mostly based off of things that were either irritating or gag inducing:

1. DEODORANT! I cannot stress how important this one step in a daily routine can be. It will make your journey and the journey of anyone within a 500 meter radius much more pleasant. I am already incredibly tired of being forced to control my gag reflex by running into a wall of dirty pit stench. Whether it be in a train car or on a street corner. Come on ya'll, one small step for mankind.

2. Pull over to discuss, take photos or look at a map. Standing in the middle of the bottom of a set of stairs in the tube is unwise, you will lose a limb and I may or may not be the one to take it from you. The middle of the sidewalk is not a gathering place. And please, PLEASE do not give myself or other passersby dirty looks when we bump into you. The sidewalk is not wide enough that your ass and your pride can reside in the middle of the damn thing.

3. If you're wielding luggage or a buggy (stroller) kindly stay to one side or the other. Don't lolly-gag and cause a traffic jam. You will get unkind looks and huffs from most Londoners who are going to and fro.

I have yet to have the energy to try and post any pictures and actually I haven't taken many. I have so many photos from living here it's hard not to think I'm just taking more of the same pictures. My trip seems to have a nature theme going : zoo, wetlands, chalk caves... so most pictures are just of scenery but someday I'll put a few up.

Till then, cheers.

It's kind of early, I'm pretty hungry and not sure what's going on with this stupid software

This was intended to be a long post chalk full of pictures and such.

But then my computer and blogger started being an asshole, so we'll see how far I get.

I've been out of NY for almost a week now and while I had a rough start, I'm thoroughly enjoying myself now and back to the swing of things in London. Getting here was a doozy though. After much wasted time standing in lines at JFK, I finally boarded my plane and we pushed off and headed down the tarmac....only to stop and be told they were shutting the engines off and we weren't leaving for at least 2 hours. What has been left out of this story is that I was sitting next to quite possibly the craziest bitch on the planet, who had to be hopped up on meth or crack or something, so those extra few hours were not pleasant. We finally get airborne and they serve us the fabulous airline cuisine for dinner but by the time they reach me...no more vegetarian meals left, no biggie, ate the salad and roll, good to go. Arrive in London finally, get away from miss crazy, get grilled for 5 minutes by passport control and finally grab my luggage and head for the tube at the airport, which is forever and a day away. Get on the train, done. Get to where I need to change tube lines, good to go. Get to Victoria station to catch the overground train to Melissa's and of course there are no elevators here. Cut to me going slowly up the stairs, banging my suitcase and an old man wanting to be helpful and me reassuring him I am fine fine fine but he'll have none of it so he grabs my suitcase....and breaks the handle. Then runs away saying sorry. Now I'm stuck with a broke ass suitcase and have to manage the rest of the journey. By the time I finally reached the flat I was dehydrated, starving and exhausted. I thought "some food, some water, maybe a nap, you'll be good to go."

I was wrong.

So very wrong.

The food I ate, came right back up....twice. Along with the water I drank. My nap turned into having to sleep my entire first day here because every time I went vertical, my stomach clenched and threatened to send me heaving again. The girls here were great and took fantastic care of me, but worry struck because we were leaving for Dublin the next day! Thank the heavens when I woke up all was well, though my stomach was still a little iffy, and Mel and I made our way to Dublin just fine.

Dublin was great, except for all the Americans there. Don't get me wrong I've got lots of pride and love my country, but dammit I didn't go to Dublin to look at and listen to my countrymen. But, even with that, we had a great time there and made it safely back to London. Where the next day I met up with Mo Coppoletta at The Family Business Tattoo shop and got some new ink done, which is gorgeous and I love it. He has a book coming out, which is kind of exciting, and honestly he's one of the most fun tattoo artists I've ever had work done by. An incredibly enjoyable experience both times I've gone to him.

Now my time of leisure truly begins. I have no plans to speak of, which is awesome. Mel and I tried to go to our favorite Friday night hotspot in Angel, for I Love the 90's, only to be horrified to find that it has been replaced with some indie music night and the skankalicious girls were stankin' the area up so we just had dinner and came back to the flat to chill for a bit. A sad let down but I guess all good things can't last. What's up for today? Who knows, the zoo maybe? Reading in the park? Walking the city?

Until next time....