it's come to light that i am nothing like a fine wine.

There is no way I've gotten better with age.  I think I'm more like the $2 boxed wine that has been long forgotten in the back of the fridge for about 6 months and once pulled out it's discovered that the liquid has taken on a congealed gelatinous form and smells like the bum you see sitting near the subway.

Being only in my mid-twenties, one would think that I would be full of energy, bounce back from everything and be rip-roaring-and-ready to go at any time. Well my friends, this is incredibly not the case. I'm pretty sure my foot still hurts from falling a week ago (yes, I know, you're terribly surprised that I fell). I'm also sure that on nights when I consume far too much alcohol, I can no longer bounce back the next day by popping some Ibuprofen with a gallon of water followed by a greasy meal and sugary soda. Instead, the Ibuprofen and water and accompanied by saltines and 2 days on the couch nursing my poor injured liver and head.

Gone are the days of all nighter's and subsisting on a diet consisting of Mountain Dew, Cool Ranch Doritos and some form of sour gummy anything. Now I look at a diet soda for a a millisecond and BAM, another few pounds find their way to my gut and when I make it to bed late, only allowing for a few hours of rest, not only do I have to consume several forms of caffeine throughout the day but you better damn well believe there is no way I am 1. going to the gym 2. cleaning house 3. running any errands or 4. doing anything other than going straight home after work, putting on my pajama's, taking off my bra and laying my ass on the couch.

How did this happen and for the love of all that is good and holy how do I make it STOP!? Those of you with spouses and kids, man, I can't even imagine.

So, it's a safe bet to assume that while I had a fantastic time last night hanging out and catching up with the wonderful Lindsey and Brian, and marveling at how big their daughter has gotten, I didn't crawl into bed until after 11, which meant my 5 am wake-up gym call? was replaced by a big fat snooze til 6:30 and while I should have gone to the gym, my aching body is still recovering from it's tumble and my liver from the Lambic I drank on Tuesday.

If you need me later, you'll most likely find me passed out on my couch in my PJ's, preparing for the visit of the ever fab Mel from London! But be forewarned if you pop in unawares, I make no promises to be wearing real pants.

None at all.

Balltastic.

So what do you do when you have a kind of cruddy Monday at work because well, it's Monday, you're tired and you've got a ton of stuff to do and your feeling a wee bit stressed?

Well I don't know about you but I took it out on my backyard. I pulled a few weeds, I raked a bunch of leaves (yes leaves, yes it's summer not fall, I don't understand it either you'd have to ask that fecking tree in my backyard that drops leaves ALL YEAR LONG) and, I tackled trimming back two small trees back there that were kind of taking over. I couldn't walk past them to the rest of the patio without ducking. Here is where I had a tiny problem though. Even though I wanted to take out my aggression on said trees, I don't per say own proper tree trimming equipment. The big squeezy trimmer thing, would have been helpful, a chain saw would have been most excellent (though let's face it, no one is letting me wield a chain saw on my own considering I can't even close my car door without maiming myself). But alas, I had none of these. So what do you do when you have two trees getting smart with themselves and taking over your backyard but nothing to trim them with? You grab a heavy duty pair of old scissors and show those bitches who is boss, THAT'S what. I know, scissors right? Geez Anna, way to be ghetto. But these aren't giant trees and scissors cut through most branches. Let me tell you, they are 100% better than before. Now someone who possess the right equipment (including a ladder) please come to my house and finish the job because they're still out of control way up high. :)

After attacking my backyard with a vengeance, I went to a softball game. And then watched a movie. And of course, me being me, towards the end of said movie I managed to knock over an entire glass of water....that was full...and it was a 32 oz. glass. Awesome. I really don't understand why my brain and my limbs cannot communicate with one another. Seriously body? The deuce.

What does any of this have to do with balls? Absolutely nothing. But it is fun to say.

The universe has spoken

And unless they invent a full body bubble suit, I will not be learning to ride a bike soon.

Yesterday I ran into my car door with my knee, and the pain was instant. Now? There is about a golf ball sized purple bruised slight goose egg looking monstrosity on my knee. Awesome.

Way to be subtle universe.

To ride or not to ride, that IS the question. No really, it is.

In the past week I've had two completely different conversations with two different people and both of them? circled around to bike riding. And to the ever pressing question I then ask myself "why don't you learn to ride a bike like every other normal functioning adult?". And then I answer myself "because i'm a big fat weiner who hates to admit but she's afraid of those two wheeled BEASTS!". Considering I've asked myself this twice this week oddly enough, it's safe to say it's a topic up for debate. I really should learn to ride a bike, I mean, it's a pretty basic skill right? Of course there's the whole problem of me being one of the most uncoordinated people on the planet (and if you disagree I have a story from Dublin that will change your mind, believe me...) and the other slight problem of me not owning a bike. Food for thought, or more like wheels for thought? Pain for thought? Hurt pride for thought? I don't know, I should be thinking about something but now I've gotten completely distracted and OH SHINY....

I also finally saw Eclipse in the past week. My thoughts? Cheesy still, definitely, but I feel like each movie they do a better and better job of making the movie less painful to watch. I was a bit skeptical considering of the 4 books, this one is my favorite, so I was afraid they'd slaughter it. But they did an alright job and I didn't leave cringing at having to admit that I saw it..in the theatre.

Why does it have to be hot as balls outside? Granted it's cooler than it was a couple days ago. A mere 101 instead of 105 or whatever the blasted hell it was. But seriously. It makes me NOT want to do anything. I am physically incapable of functioning when it is above 95. I should go to the gym, but the thought of getting hot and sweaty when I'm already hot and sweaty, makes me gag a little. And then I think I should go swimming! But I don't have the energy to squeeze my large behind (from not going to the gym) into my bathing suit and sloughing myself over to scam on the sister's pool. All I can muster the energy for is changing into clothes that are akin to underwear and flopping myself on a couch under the air vent with a fan on me. I commend people who do not have airconditioning because I have discovered that I? am a prima donna who needs her fecking A/C! So bravo all you brave souls, my wallet weeps for your bravery as it shells out money to pay for my refrigerated air.

Because of the heat and my longing to dig my toes in the sand, I am desperately craving a trip to the beach. It might happen on Saturday. A quick trip over to soak up some cool ocean breeze, in the sun, in the sand, with a book. *sigh* For now, I'll have to settle for munching on ice and sitting around in my chonies.

Somedays gravity and coordination make you their bitch

But at least this little guy looks cute doing it!

The day between manic monday and humpday.

Let's just say it's official: I'm retarded.

I've done so many boneheaded things lately it's ridiculous. Yesterday in the library Starbucks I dropped my book and went "Oops!" and when I bent down to get it I whacked my head on the window and yelped an "Owie!". I clearly felt like being a noisy customer.

I desperately need to go grocery shopping but I'm just so damn lazy lately since payday that I haven't gone. So last night was "anything but the kitchen sink night" for dinner. Which equaled me banging around in my cupboards until I found something to eat. The end result? I had some corn and some crackers and garlic/sourcream dip. Dinner of champs y'all! :) Tonight I have to stop by the store and at least grab something though because that was all I had, that's it, no more. So if not, it's going to be just crackers or a tuna sandwhich for dinner.

Speaking of lazy, I've been such a slacker about going to the gym and running that my belly fat is getting arrogant. It smirks and waves at me even when I'm not in motion just because it knows I'm too tired to do anything about it. Unlike my sister, who is showing me up hardcore at the gym. If only I had her dedication, then I could turn that belly frown upside down.... or something like that. It's going to be hard to force myself to go to spinning tonight, but I'll do it dammit.

I'm researching a new camera, a fancy jazz one, so if I get it prepare to see lots of photos of random shit that is either intersting or weird. On that note, ciao!